From Homemaker to Chichibu Meisen Artisan's Wife

Sonoe, who always had a passion for handcrafts like dressmaking and sewing, studied textile design and went on to work in the planning department for custom-made curtains at a textile trading company.

"I created sample books for curtain orders and consulted with weavers, asking things like, "Can you make this kind of fabric?" I also had opportunities to work with textiles in other ways, like helping with displays at exhibitions and department stores."

It was there she met Norio, a designer two years her junior who would become her husband. Her first impression of him was that he was a very earnest person.

"He worked in the design office, and even though he dressed casually in sweatshirts and batik (wax-resist dyed) shirts, he was a very sincere person deep down. His parents even came to the company to pay their respects, which left me with the impression that he came from a good family. People around me would say I had heart eyes for him—that’s how smitten I was."

After Sonoe changed jobs, the two married. She left her career to raise a family, and blessed with four children, she enjoyed a full life dedicated to her home and kids.

A turning point came when Sonoe was 38. Norio announced his decision to become an artisan and take over his family's business, a Chichibu Meisen weaving workshop.

"I had always been prepared for the day he might take over the family business, so I didn't hesitate. I just said, "Okay.""

When asked if she was worried about such a drastic life change, Sonoe replied, "Not at all."

"Looking back now, I was incredibly naive, but I just believed things would work out. Even my father-in-law tried to talk us out of it, saying, "You’re better off staying in Tokyo,\" but I insisted, "We’ll be fine!" and so we moved to Chichibu."

A Whirlwind of Hectic Days

With a large family, the Arais decided to buy a house near the factory rather than live with extended family. What awaited them was a daily routine that was a complete 180 from their previous life.

"In Tokyo, my life revolved around sending the kids off to school and being home when they returned. But in Chichibu, I’m at the factory from morning until night. I can barely keep up with the housework. Those days were pure chaos."

Norio devoted himself to his craft, training from dawn to dusk to master the techniques of Chichibu Meisen. Sonoe recalls that she was caught in a dizzying spiral of work, chores, and childcare.

"In the beginning, I had no idea what I was supposed to do. As it's a family business, there were no clearly defined roles or instructions. I had to figure out how I could be useful, observing and then offering, "I’ll get lunch ready," or asking, "Could you teach me how to weave, too?" I gradually carved out a role for myself."

While working at the factory, she also briskly prepared lunch and the 3 p.m. tea break. At home, she made meals and bentos for the kids and might run the washing machine three or more times on a busy day. In the evenings, she would pick up the children and, long after they were asleep, she would finally sit down at her computer to work.

"I was so busy that I was in a constant state of hurry. Even during a tea break, I'd be thinking, "I should be using this time to go home and bring in the laundry." I couldn't even enjoy a simple cup of tea. I think there was a stretch of about 10 years when I sacrificed sleep for work. It was incredibly tough."

From "Have To" to "Want To"

"I felt so overwhelmed and stressed back then, probably because a part of me felt forced into the work," Sonoe says, recalling those days.

"I just couldn't find any real meaning in the tasks at hand. I started to feel, 'This isn't my job,' and there were times when it was really tough to come to terms with it."

What saved Sonoe was time for herself: her tea ceremony lessons. She initially started tea ceremony lessons to get comfortable wearing a kimono for selling Chichibu Meisen silk, but it soon became a precious time that soothed her soul.

"Twice a month, my family would team up to give me that time off. Having that personal time, no matter how busy I was, was my way of finding calm. It became an essential part of my life."

Thanks to her tea ceremony practice, she grew comfortable in a kimono, and connecting with customers became a truly rewarding experience. As the business gradually transitioned from the previous generation, she slowly began to find more fulfillment in her work.

"I was gradually able to start realizing the things I wanted to do. One of our initiatives is an open day where we invite customers to the factory. At first, it was just a tour, but then I thought, 'We should prepare some tea and snacks!' I started serving pickles and other food, which made it so much more fun. It turned into an event that our customers really enjoyed."

Expanding My Own "Vessel" Through Experience

Sonoe now serves as the public relations manager for Shinkei Orimono, where she single-handedly manages their social media, website, and other communications. At exhibitions and fairs, she also dons a Chichibu Meisen kimono to work the sales floor herself. More recently, she has even delved into the artisan's world, taking on design work and mixing the colored paste for katazome stencil dyeing.

"The consistency of the paste changes daily with the temperature, and you only get a feel for the right adjustments through experience. Mastering that is the true joy of craftsmanship. It also reinforces my sense of responsibility as one of the guardians of the Chichibu Meisen tradition."

She still has a mountain of things to do, but she says she no longer feels the same sense of panic she used to.

"There's a saying in Japan that 'time is the best medicine,' and I realize now that I didn't need to rush to find a balance between parenting and work, or to figure out my role. I want to tell my younger self, 'It's okay to take your time.'"

Sonoe shared that she now finds joy in her life as a craftsman's wife.

"I'm experiencing a life I never would have known in Tokyo and seeing the breadth of my husband's world. With each child, my own small 'vessel' expanded, and my love grew deeper. My second son also helps out at the factory. I want to pass the baton to him in a way that he can find his own fulfillment and truly enjoy the work."

While she sometimes felt lost and uncertain, Sonoe gracefully adapted, carving out her own role in her environment. Her passion, just like the vibrant threads of Chichibu Meisen, is being woven into the legacy for the next generation.